Of scones, sandwiches and sweet treats

Afternoon tea is having a bit of a moment. On a weekend afternoon the nicest hotels and tea-rooms all seem to be heaving with people (mostly female) sipping tea and nibbling on tiny cakes. There are variations: champagne afternoon tea, afternoon tea with cocktails, even low tea (a healthier version, apparently). Doggy bags seem almost compulsory, as all the chatting often always leave time for eating many of those cakes.

I wanted to take my aged grandmother for afternoon tea. I quite fancied the Ritz: she expressed a desire for countryside. I couldn't find many posh afternoon tea establishments in the Essex countryside, but we compromised on Brentwood. The Marygreen Manor Hotel came highly recommended. It took me weeks to get a reservation at the weekend, so my hopes were quite high.

The setting was a pleasant conservatory, with views of a pretty courtyard garden. We started off with a glass of champagne, and then the sandwiches and cakes arrived on a tiered cake-stand. They were dainty finger sandwiches, crusts cut off, with fillings including salmon, ham and cucumber and cheese and tomato. They lost marks for the cheese being grated rather than sliced, which I always think looks cheap. You got the impression that the sandwiches were not really the point, rather ballast for what is to come.

We moved onto the scones, which were excellent: warm, freshly baked, and served with plenty of clotted cream and jam. We had two each: one plain and one fruited, although by the time you've applied lashings of jam and cream I don't think you much notice whether they are fruit scones or not.

I was beginning to slow down by this point, but my grandmother gave the impression she was just getting into her stride. "Can you pass me the cakes?" she said. My favourite was a mini chocolate eclair with chocolate cream filling. A strawberry tart was also praiseworthy, with a vanilla-speckled confectioner's custard filling, though it could have done with slightly more strawberry. Suffice to say there was no need for a doggy bag, and nor did we need anything else to eat that day.

Afternoon tea feels like a pleasant ritual from a bygone age. These days, who on earth has time in the afternoon to do that sort of thing regularly? And to be honest, it hardly fits in with a normal mealtime routine - do you eat lunch and risk not having an appetite, or try to make it through from breakfast to afternoon tea? And the effect on your waistline - and your arteries - is something best not even considered. I guess these things are what makes it a treat, something for high days and holidays.

My only other quibble is that nearly afternoon teas feel like an overload of sugar. Yes, there are the sandwiches, but do we really need scones and four different kind of cakes? I'd be reluctant to give up the scones, but I'd swap a couple of the cakes for some mini-quiches or some kind of savoury canape in a flash. Hoteliers and restaurateurs, there's an idea for you.

Marygreen Manor Hotel
London Road
Brentwood
Essex
CM14 4NR
01277 225 252